BEYOND YOURSELF (2017)
PROJECT INFO
BEYOND YOURSELF (2017)
performance, photography, video
PUBLICATION
Medium
Cuts, scratches, cigarette burns and other marks on one’s body – those are the traces of self-harm. Self-harm starts with hatred to yourself, either a desire to drown out emotional pain, or a loss of any sense of control over your life. There can be many reasons for self-harm. Especially if you are a teen troubled by unreciprocated love or a family conflict.
Quite often self-harming starts in youth. Some people go on for their whole life, others manage to stop, however a craving for self-harm stays with them for a long time.
“Beyond yourself” is a performance dedicated to redirecting auto aggression into the outer world. Participants chose a liberating activity for themselves. For some it is an experience in destruction, for some in creation. Instead of stabbing their own body with scissors, they cracked open a cabinet with an axe. Instead of cutting themselves with a blade, they smashed plates. Through those activities, physical transformation of their bodies was replaced by physical transformation of the world around them. “Beyond yourself” consists of participants’ photo portraits, taken right after they have released their auto aggression into the environment, and a shot of the space, changed under their influence. Here, a picture is a way not to catch a moment but to create it.
Quite often self-harming starts in youth. Some people go on for their whole life, others manage to stop, however a craving for self-harm stays with them for a long time.
“Beyond yourself” is a performance dedicated to redirecting auto aggression into the outer world. Participants chose a liberating activity for themselves. For some it is an experience in destruction, for some in creation. Instead of stabbing their own body with scissors, they cracked open a cabinet with an axe. Instead of cutting themselves with a blade, they smashed plates. Through those activities, physical transformation of their bodies was replaced by physical transformation of the world around them. “Beyond yourself” consists of participants’ photo portraits, taken right after they have released their auto aggression into the environment, and a shot of the space, changed under their influence. Here, a picture is a way not to catch a moment but to create it.
Sonya
SONYA
— I wanted my cuts to be noticed and for people to ask what’s wrong with me.
— The roll of red paper was associated with my anger at mom.
— I wanted my cuts to be noticed and for people to ask what’s wrong with me.
— The roll of red paper was associated with my anger at mom.
Artyom
ARTYOM
— I once woke up with the thought that I am the ugliest person on Earth.
— My walls are full of holes from a hammer; screaming into my pillow helps
— I once woke up with the thought that I am the ugliest person on Earth.
— My walls are full of holes from a hammer; screaming into my pillow helps
Nastya
NASTYA
— Once a psychologist told me: "And try not to turn your arm into mush anymore"
— All in all, it reminded me of heavily shredding my arm
— Once a psychologist told me: "And try not to turn your arm into mush anymore"
— All in all, it reminded me of heavily shredding my arm
Ksenia
KSENIA
— I hit walls with my fists from self-hatred, grabbed knives and blades.
— I took hatred from my memories and projected it onto the plates.
— I hit walls with my fists from self-hatred, grabbed knives and blades.
— I took hatred from my memories and projected it onto the plates.
Daria Kazimira (Dariy)
DARIA KAZIMIRA (DARIY)
— I mutilated my body because I couldn’t accept and love myself.
— It felt a lot like a trance, it’s a shame the cabinet fell apart so soon.
— I mutilated my body because I couldn’t accept and love myself.
— It felt a lot like a trance, it’s a shame the cabinet fell apart so soon.
Maria
MARIA
— When I was 15, the idea of self-destructing, or rather torturing the flesh to achieve greater spirituality, seemed obvious and attractive.
— When I was 15, the idea of self-destructing, or rather torturing the flesh to achieve greater spirituality, seemed obvious and attractive.
Alex
ALEX
— I was 22 years old. I was having a hard time breaking up with my girlfriend and decided this was the best thing I could do. I poured potassium permanganate on my skin and sealed it with a band-aid. The physical pain helped numb the emotional pain. It also gave me a sense of control over my life.
— I was 22 years old. I was having a hard time breaking up with my girlfriend and decided this was the best thing I could do. I poured potassium permanganate on my skin and sealed it with a band-aid. The physical pain helped numb the emotional pain. It also gave me a sense of control over my life.
Natasha
NATASHA
— My legs, stomach, arms, chest, and lower back are slashed. I always wear closed clothes. Summer is the worst season for me. Once I tried to switch to another kind of self-harm so as not to leave any traces, and I cut my tongue.
— My legs, stomach, arms, chest, and lower back are slashed. I always wear closed clothes. Summer is the worst season for me. Once I tried to switch to another kind of self-harm so as not to leave any traces, and I cut my tongue.
KATYA
— This is so embarrassing and terrible to admit. I obsessively pick off everything that seems wrong to me. The reason is simple — I want to be beautiful and acne free. It seems like I am improving, but it only gets worse. I understand, I can’t stop.
— This is so embarrassing and terrible to admit. I obsessively pick off everything that seems wrong to me. The reason is simple — I want to be beautiful and acne free. It seems like I am improving, but it only gets worse. I understand, I can’t stop.
Kira
KIRA
— It all started when I was about 13 or 14 years old, when I was overwhelmed by strong emotions and the search for the meaning of life. They filled and filled and filled me from the inside, but there was no way out, so I scratched the first inscription on my hand and filled it with ink from a pen. It was an expression of my strongest love for the music of a band.
— It all started when I was about 13 or 14 years old, when I was overwhelmed by strong emotions and the search for the meaning of life. They filled and filled and filled me from the inside, but there was no way out, so I scratched the first inscription on my hand and filled it with ink from a pen. It was an expression of my strongest love for the music of a band.
Tanya
TANYA
— I have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). It forces me to control things around me. The constant checking is exhausting, and the anxiety builds up inside that many things will not be done or will be done wrong. When I couldn’t handle the level of control, I used self-harm. There was no suicidal undertone. It was my way of punishing myself for not doing my rituals and controlling my emotional pain.
— I have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). It forces me to control things around me. The constant checking is exhausting, and the anxiety builds up inside that many things will not be done or will be done wrong. When I couldn’t handle the level of control, I used self-harm. There was no suicidal undertone. It was my way of punishing myself for not doing my rituals and controlling my emotional pain.
