In the winter of 2021, I traveled to an art residency located in the heart of the Kostomuksha Nature Reserve. To get there, we rode snowmobiles for half an hour across frozen swamps. The house where I spent a month had no internet or mobile connection. Despite being offline and seemingly disconnected from the capitalist system, I began to recreate objects of civilization and neoliberal desire. Woodphones, created in the absence of digital stimuli, are the safest phones in the age of surveillance capitalism: your data will never be stolen, and your location will never be tracked.